Events in a randomly assorting universe....

I was never a success. At anything. Until I was given a chance to start a school. I'm four hard years into it. Tomorrow I have to convince someone to resign because teaching isn't the job for her and my kids aren't learning anything in her class. So she has to be counseled out. I don't like it. But I don't like my kids not learning more. It's my job.
But like I said. I wasn't a success at much of anything. I worked two jobs. Didn't take vacation. I worked corporate. Failed. Left to open my own store. Had it for 8 years. Closed it in the dead of night. Drove a limo. A failure. But through it all, I believed. I believed I had something within me. Situations and events may assort randomly, but I knew somewhere, if I just kept working, I'd get a shot. My marriage collapsed. I had to find out how to be a dad to daughters I now only saw on weekends. Sometimes.
And then I found teaching. And each year energized me to a new year of stories. And histories. And problems. And I found my calling. I realized this week that I've been at this for 18 years. Amazing. It seems like yesterday. Through it, I got divorced, met the love of my life, had that fail, watched my daughters grow into these amazing women, and was convinced, reluctantly, to come out of the classroom. And then was asked to create a new school.
But the point of all this is that I believed. And learned to trust. Myself. I don't think about success or failure any more. I've chosen this life. It's mine. For better or worse. And although I never had success before this, I never considered myself afailure.

Vegas

I'm in Vegas. My sister lives here. This is my fourth trip in two years. My sister, to me, is one of those people who are in your life, who you just listen too and want to be around. So I grabbed a chance to visit with her. The other three trips had either of my daughters along. Which was kinda cool. But this time it's just her and I. It's a special time. I leave and she goes back to work so I want us to enjoy this time.
I love Vegas. Not so much much for the energy of the strip ----which is definitely amazing.....not for playing "pro or no?" with my sister and daughters in the casinos....not for the gambling.....but because of the mountains....I stand in her back yard .....and walk in a circle....and these spectacular views leap out at you.
I am gonna retire here. Just not in 3 years like I thought. I'm having so much fun at my school....and I want to develop certain staff.....that I realized I have to stay another 7 to 10 to get things the way I want.
That's ok. This is my job. The one that I want. The one I'm best suited for. The one I care most about. It's my calling.
Everything else will work out......in a randomly assorting universe....

The times as Dylan would say

In 2003, there was nothing here. Just an elementary school with a declining enrollment. And then some forces began to come together. A visionary with a thought to maximize building space, offer parents choice, creating choice orchestrated an opportunity. And I was in a kind of nether land. But she pointed at me and in 2004 I was asked to create a middle school. I remember calling someone I was involved with at midnight when I learned the news. I was a principal. A founder. Of a school yet to exist.
I had to build it.
I have been ever since. 4 Years. I am so proud of where we are. Well developed on our Quality Review. A staff I wouldn't trade for anyone's. People who are committed to what we try and do each day. Learning. How do we learn. How can we learn better. That's my building. That's my staff.
It's 2008. The building is thriving. Enrollment in both schools is up. I work as hard as I did then, now. But it has a point. The goal is unimportant. It's the process. Someone asked me yesterday how much time I have. I said ten years. It felt good. I'm doing what I enjoy most. Why leave?

outlook....

I used to think I had only a couple or three years left. I was feeling burned. But then I realized, that I am doing what I love doing. And have been since '90. I look forward to every year. I look forward to the mix I put together. Wondering if I've gotten it right. Working through it. It's hard to put into words where this job has taken me. From never wanting to come out of the classroom....to talking with teachers....to trying to build a community....to worrying about that community. It's been an interesting 18 years. But at no point have I heard the fat lady singing. In fact, the opposite is true. I've enjoyed each year more than the last. It's so important for me to open the door each morning and say "good morning" to my kids....and see them smile and say good morning back. I walk the streets at 7:55 every morning......whatever the weather.....in rain....or cold....I open the door and say good morning to my kids. And I feel whole. A teacher told me I needed a scarf and hat in the -11 degree temp today. I smiled. And didn't back away from being outside as I opened the door. These are my kids. Their faces are so tight.....protected against the elements....until that "good morning." Then they smile....and my day begins.