more.....continued

I said I knew certain things about myself. I do. I know that I'm a strong individual. That I know sometimes that things take time. That certain words -- honor, responsibility -- mean something to me in the bigger picture. That I know how to handle emotional events and get people through them. That I don't need you to "understand" me. That I am -- on a very simple level -- a good guy trying to understand his life. That I'm flawed. That I'm a mix of talents that are the result of everything that's happened to me in this life and every choice I've made. That like a Lakota tribesman I can handle your pain, and your pain, and your pain, assume it, freeing you.....and keep going.
more later......

titles?? who needs titles?

We're approaching New Year's. It's supposed to be a time of reflection, the start of another year, etc. But it always struck me as "amateur" night. So I never much went out on New Year's. I preferred to be with my partner (if I had one) or by myself. The calling at midnight struck me as false. What would you say then that would be different?
Reflection is part of my life. A serious part.
I constantly have goals for how I want to live. For what I want to stride towards.
I just know that life isn't necessarily a "compose this list and check things off" experience. Time factors in. Some timelines take longer to become clear and take hold. I don't have goals to be able to say "see I'm a good person, let me check this off." I don't do things by "lists." It isn't that simple. Life tends to be more complex and less simplistic. Good and bad are relative judgements. By other people. Which invalidates them in my mind. The question is
"How do I judge myself?" That's the answer I'm traveling too.
And I don't expect to get there. See the "timelines take longer...." part of this. I do know certain things about myself.
More later.