Moments...

My younger daughter turned 18 today. It is an important moment. She is an amazing young woman. Full of strength and heart and smarts and humor. So I called and asked if I could take her to lunch. And she looked so very beautiful. She's helped me make such wonderful memories of her and I together as we've both grown and changed and morphed into the people we're becoming. The best thing about me is that I truly believe I've tried to be a good dad to two amazing girls, now both women. Not bad. Not bad at all.

blogs....

A friend, a while ago, sent me a blog. I don't really seek out, or go looking, at people's blogs. Except for my sisters. For everyone else, it's tough enough posting to my own blog, to be reading everyone else's. But this friend sent me a link. And I've been reading it. It's a guy who works a farm he owns, and does hospice work, and publishes pics of life on the farm, and talks about his dogs, etc. And it's kinda cool. I favorited it and check it every few days. The photos are beautiful. It's "Bedlam Farm Journal." Really god stuff.

hmmmm....

I laugh at myself a lot. Mainly because I accept and realize the unpredictability of life. What other response would be appropriate? We spend so much time living to a code, being honorable, trying to reflect some religious moral whatever we've being imbued with. And we should. I do....everyday.But it's silly. And we know it. Why? Because the universe doesn't care and assorts randomly. We hate that last part....the randomness. Because we can't fit it anywhere. Humans have a need for answers. That what distinguishes us. Not a prehensile thumb. We need answers. In the middle ages people turned to the Church for answers. Before that, spirits inhabited the world. What people wanted was answers. Randomness doesn't allow us answers. Or much help in figuring out to live. Western civilizations fault was that it saw progress in a straight line and couldn't believe things were circular.
Wow....I'm tired.....lol

Health and thoughts and how I want to live...

I found out recently that I'm a borderline diabetic. No puncturing yet. I also have high blood pressure. I have to lose some weight and monitor my blood sugar. My pressure is good -- controlled by meds. But the question is "how do I want to live?" I don't want to spend time talking about this, or having concerned friends asking me if I can "eat this?" I also won't trudge from doctors office to doctors office running down cures.
It will twist some people because they'll think I'm being cavalier about it all. Trust me. I'm not. I'm soon to be 55 and I know my daughters are going to achieve amazing things and I want to see them do it.
And I have my work. I love what I do. I'm good at it. I want to do it for about 8 more years. And then, I'm off to my sister, and a condo, a dog, a gated community.....and winking at ladies.
So I am gonna take care of myself, but I don't want it to be the daily topic of conversation or a string of doctors offices. I'm gonna be okay.

Because of Tim Russert

Tim Russert's death spooked me. I had been somewhat cavalier about my health. High Blood Pressure? Yeah, sometimes I took the pills. Stent in my chest? yeah, avoid the heart doctor. Skin cancer? Put off yearly check-ups. Why? Good question. One, I don't like doctors. Not since I saw them use my sister as a pin cushion in the guise of helping her. Two, because I sorta thought it would not happen to me. Like somehow I was invincible.
I've always had amazing energy. Knocked down, I always refigured things and came back. I started my main career at 36. I can be amazingly single minded.
But Russert's death somewhat changed that. I had noticed my body taking longer to recover. I was tired more. So I've embarked on a round of tests; bloodwork. So far.....I'm a borderline diabetic. I have my blood pressure under control. I take my pills. I'm changing my diet to control my sugar. I have a nuclear stress test in two weeks. That will tell me about my heart (if they can find it....lol).
I expect to be doing my work for awhile.