today

I have two daughters. They are my world. One is in Boston at school. The other is getting ready to go live in California for a couple of years. I don't like it. But I won't say anything about my dislike. It's their life. Yeah, I'm their dad but it's their life. That simple fact was a hard one. But everything after that was easy.
I've always wanted them to know how special I considered them. How amazing they are. But not in a false way. They truly have more chambers of my heart then they know.
It's good that they're following their hearts.

my birthday

I had a birthday recently. The Stones "You Can't Always Get What You Want Played in the Background." I'm midway through my fifties. I'm old. I'm okay with it. Yeah, I'm a little fatter....a little balder....but I'm still....me. I don't live my life according to other people's projections. I don't live to be "perfect." I don't live to have the most toys.
I live to be the best "me" I can be. Nothing else. I have an amazing life that I appreciate every day. My work is challenging, fulfilling, consuming. But it isn't me. My daughters are amazing, smart, tough women who have given me years of absolute joy to be in their lives. But they aren't me. I've loved only two women in my life. One for twenty years. One for almost three. But they aren't me.
I've been told I'm like TV characters. House in particular. I find the notion cute. Nobody should live to be like a TV character. I don't.
The truth is that "me" is constantly changing.....adapting.....hopefully growing. I challenge myself every day. To live honestly. To give of myself. To laugh.
It's fun. It was a good birthday.