notes from the iVillage..

  I was recently on Facebook and took a quiz. Nothing unusual there. In fact, some of my friends live to take Facebook quizzes. As well they should. But I digress. I took a "Which Hogwarts teacher are you" quiz. Turns out I'm Remus Lupin. Yeah, exactly, the werewolf guy.

  Now, nothing wrong with that. Except that I have this special history with Harry Potter. When I got divorced, I struggled with the idea of how to stay close to my two daughters. With one, I seemed to be able to talk and share and the relationship just continued. With the other it was harder. She was younger and the silences were more pronounced. I floundered. Had doubts. Worried a lot. Until I heard she was devouring Harry Potter books.

  And I started to read them. To have a language to talk with her in. And I enjoyed them. And this barrier that I thought was there.....wasn't. It wasn't just Harry. Harry gave us a commonality to touch each other with. So, I thought of all this as the quiz told me I was Lupin. And it sorta fits. Lupin was a werewolf who didn't really fit in the wizarding world. Yet he had amazing lessons to give Harry. He was friends with Harry's father and mother. Yet he didn't really belong. I've struggled with "belonging" my whole life. I feel I have much to contribute but often feel distant from the very ones I want to contribute it too. Like Lupin, I see things that others don't, but often am just quiet while I wait for them to catch up. So I just keep working.

  On another note. Honesty. How do I feel about it? This blog is going to be as honest as I can possibly be.  I believe we learn from each other, from our experiences, shared. But I also realize that one person has asked me to refrain from putting them in this blog. I'll respect that.  It does get in the way when I want to write about certain things but that's really the only holdback I have. I just really feel that I can learn from someone else, and someone may learn from this blog. I could be wrong. 

An iWorld

  I believe we're living in an iWorld. iMac, iPod, iPhone. It seems to be unavoidable. And I'm not one of those "technology rots, gimme a pencil and slip of paper" people either. I don't run around ranting, "Where's my typewriter." (if you're unsure of that reference drop me a note in the iVillage).  I enjoy technology. No, not just enjoy, but embrace it. In fact, I'm waiting for the "iBerry." (And Apple, should it come to pass, just send the check -- and I'm sure someone will correct me and tell me how the iPhone already does what an iBerry does. No matter.).

  But we are speaking some serious "Jetson" like technology available to the "everyman." I recently purchased an iMac. And not the least of it because I was turned off by the IBM "you find it, you keep it ads." I mean really, the ad isn't making me believe they're committed to customer service. Anyway, I bought the iMac for a very simple reason. iChat. My daughters live in other parts of the iWorld and having the ability to "see and talk" rather than just speak over the telephone was the crucial factor. So Friday night, my daughter sent me an iChat invitation and we spoke for like an hour. Me sitting in an apartment on one coast and her in her apartment on the other coast. 

  Amazing stuff.   

Father's Day

  I've wanted to write this post for a few days now. Father's Day is kinda important to me. I have two amazing, wonderful daughters. They are as different as could possibly be. But they are alike in ways I'm sure they are just learning about and hopefully will continue to discover about themselves. I'm proud of that. It should be a journey in which they discover not only their differences but their bonds. They have many. And one of the best experiences I've had in the last 10 years is watching them discover those bonds. 

  It's vaguely similar to what my sister and I have gone through. Discovering our trust in each other, and love for each other.  Just cause you grew up in the same family is no guarantee that you'll be close....or even care about each other. My sister and I are at a place where after a childhood spent torturing each other we complete each others sentences and long for opportunities to be together. I depend on her to keep me sane.....not an easy task under the best of circumstances.

  But my daughters. And Father's Day.

  When  I was named an assistant principal a while ago, in a Community School Board Meeting, I said, "I hope that they are as proud of me tonight as I have been of them every day of their lives."  Nothing much has changed. They are my conscience. And I am so grateful to be their "dad." Father's Day is more about them and the sense of happiness and fulfillment they bring to my life every day than anything I could ever do for them. I understand why my mom (henceforth known here as Satan) holds on to any relationship she can have with my brother (who I wouldn't lend a glass of water to in the desert and I'm sure he returns the favor). I don't agree with it but I understand it. And she should have it. 

  So it'll be a quiet Fathers Day. And that's okay. I love them every day.