#8

I couldn't sleep last night -- I know, you needed to know that -- and found myself in front of the TV. Denis Leary has a show on cable, "Rescue Me." Really a good show. Realistic. Gritty. Complex. Concerning a nyc firefighter post 9/11. On the show, Leary is the central figure. Divorced, possibly alcoholic (I only saw three espisodes). Lives across the street from his ex (ok, that's a stretch). Devoted to his kids. But what attracted me throughout the three episodes was the fact that his character is flawed. He has demons -- what he's seen (in one episode he's followed by people who've died in horrific circumstances); and experienced. He's haunted (literally) by his cousin, a firefighter who died in 9/11 and who he talks too. Flawed. It's what attracts me to shows like this, or "House." Ensemble casts true, but the central figures are flawed. The world they inhabit isn't black and white. Their characters lives can't be reduced to easily identified figures. No classic heroes. No clear rational lines. No pillars of virtue -- although at times they echo all of that. They are complex, made up of both sterling moments and moments not so sterling. Characters that aren't so easily defined or categorized. In one episode, Leary's character starts drinking again after 14 months. At one point he throws all his liquor in the trash. "I'm stopping the slide," he tells his cousin. Later in the episode he retrieves the liquor. Flawed. But they kind of mirror reality.
When I was younger I wanted, and believed I could make, the world black and white. Simple. It was pretty clear to me. But now, it isn't so black and white. I can't make up a list of pluses and minuses. I do...but I know that that's just part of the equation. Life isn't simple. We --people -- are both complex...and flawed.