shadows

I used to be, repeat used to be jealous of people who I thought saw things strictly in black and white. Hell, when I was younger, I was one of those people. Back then, everything was pretty easy to discern. But as I got into life, and felt different things, and dealt with other things, and went through a period where I kept getting phiolosophically and emotionally whacked, I became less sure. And I grew envious and jealous of those people who could maintain seeing the world in black and white. Simply. Two colors.
It's sort of like wanting to be the best. Competitive. I was like that too. But then, it wasn't about being the best. It became about being the best me. And there was no need for simply two colors. My world could exist with many hues.....shades. It didn't mean that standards and ideals went out the window. No, it became simply my standards.
How?
I dunno. It did require some heavy lifting, Some willingness to look in corners. Some acceptance that it might not work. But mainly, some belief in self. Some trust of self. Some hard work at not believing that what others thought mattered.
It's easier now.