my sister...

My sister would have been 57 today. Unfortunately, she passed in '90. It's been a long time since that day in October. My day, today, was insanely busy. But she wasn't far from my thoughts. Inwardly, I smiled when I thought of her. I'm not a big fan of "getting over" things. I don't think we do. I think we learn how to "manage" things. And I think the trick is managing whatever it is to a good place within ourselves. But we have to be clear and honest with ourselves. No rationalizations. No excuses. No regrets. In a randomly assorting universe.
I don't have any about her. She taught me sooo much. How to dance with a girl. What the silence between my parents meant. She was my daughter's first nanny. My daughter adored her. When I should call a girl back. She was the one I trusted who could get me to rethink something. I remember one of the last times I saw her. Racked with pain. Injected with strange drugs. She came to visit. She was tiring easy then. My second daughter was a month old. She spent time with us. I talked with her a long time. We just sat on my porch in the fading August sun, and talked. She didn't have answers. I wasn't looking for any. We parted that day, and I knew. But there wasn't anything unresolved between us. She taught me how to dance. And in her final moments, she taught me how to live. Shortly after, she passed. Oct. 12th is gonna be tough.